A vegan Thanksgiving

 I wanted to capture what we had for my first vegan Thanksgiving—honestly, this was Kent’s too although he isn’t vegan. And I did tell him he was welcome to prepare dishes with animal products in them (thinking of the green bean casserole, or turkey, stuffing and gravy). He said he didn’t want to, that he wanted to try what I was going to cook. So it was a vegan meal all the way around.

I’d found some Thanksgiving recipes for two from the New York Times that weren’t vegan, but I was pretty sure I could make them vegan. I won't bother linking to the NYT recipes because if you don't have a full subscription, you won't be able to access them. 

From the NYT, we had Maple Roasted Squash with Sage and Lime:

And Caramelized Brussels sprouts with vegan bacon. We will reduce the amount of apple cider vinegar the next time we make this and use a whole grain mustard instead of the Dijon we used:

Kent made the vegan bacon (or phacon as I called it) the night before Thanksgiving. It's made with coconut flakes and is quite good.

And Roasted Carrots, Faro and Lentils with *Cashew Sauce, which we've had before. This recipe is similar; I used one from a vegan cookbook my mother passed along to me.

We enjoyed this wine (even though we ate at noon and boy, drinking during the day sure makes me snoozy for the rest of the day.

Dessert was this very decadent NYT Pumpkin Sticky Toffee pudding with the most amazing sauce. This has what’s described as a soft cake-like texture. I thought it was similar to pumpkin bread only even better. We very briefly considered splitting one but didn't. And wouldn't in the future and agreed it was a Very Good Thing the recipe made two servings or we would have eaten it all.

*I’m so impressed with the sauces we can make with cashews. Those form the basis of the vegan Alfredo sauce we use on our pizza, with scalloped potatoes and of course with fettucine. 

Well this is confusing

 From my MRI report:

There is a non-displaced fracture involving the third metatarsal neck. There is no acute bone marrow or soft tissue edema. The findings may reflect a fracture nonunion. 

From my x-ray report a week later (and I promise you nothing has changed in my foot):

A band of sclerosis is present involving the distal diaphysis of the third metatarsal. This is felt to represent a healed stress fracture.

Those are pretty different diagnoses. I've got a note into the super duper specialist (the one who actually ordered this x-ray last week) to see which one is accurate. Because honestly if the x-ray findings are accurate, not only will I be ecstatic I'll also go running. 

Bonus kitty picture to spice things up.

And here's the reply from Dr. R's nurse:

I spoke with Dr. R and he said the xray is what gives us the most up to date information. So I would say the Xray is gospel!  He said basically you are producing a band of sclerosis in that area which is your body's way of trying to heal the stress fracture.  He said that this could be an area of what is called hyperostotic non-union or is an area of bone formation in the face of a non-union.  He explained that typically those situation do go on to heal but they may require surgical intervention.  He encourages you to keep your appointment with the foot specialist.  

Update on my broken foot

Yesterday, I saw the podiatrist to go over my MRI results of my foot. Turns out that I absolutely no question about it have a non-union fracture. 

My podiatrist is great, answered all my questions including the one where I said that I've had two kinds of cancers, and while I know bone mets in a metatarsal is very rare, the chance of that is still a number greater than zero. She paused and said you know I think it would make the most sense for you to see Dr. Rosenthal, who specializes in bone or soft tissue tumors. She's going to get that referral going and she told me to be extremely clear on my history so he has a full picture.

That makes sense to me because otherwise on the face of it, this looks like it was a stress fracture and I have bad bones. Only my bones weren't that bad when I had my DEXA scan nearly two years ago. The actual values indicated osteopenia but nowhere near osteoporosis. I got that osteoporosis dx from my endocrinologist after my pelvis fractured.

As I told my podiatrist, that fracture absolutely was from over training. I've mentioned before that I ran 6 races in about two months' time: three half marathons, a 5K, a 12K and a 10K. That last 10K I know it was broken, man that race hurt. So yes, that was a stress fracture.

But with my foot this year, that wasn't the case. I was training slowly, sanely, under the care of a running coach and a physical therapist. I had no warning, nothing, the bone just broke.

That's the history she wants me to make sure to share. I still hope/think this is just a non-union fracture and if I have to have surgery to repair it, then yikes but OK I will. But if it's not, then I need whatever it is to be addressed too.

I am beyond discouraged.

Hygge in Kansas

 Hygge is a Danish and Norwegian word for a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment. I think of it as quiet satisfaction, and since Kent and I have been working from home for nearly eight months, we’ve –or maybe it’s more accurate to say I’ve—focused on making our home more comfy and cozy, more hygge. And we’ve done a lot!

In no particular order:

I got this because it made me laugh and also goes with the overall colors in our living/kitchen area.

Ding dong the pergola is GONE (and we do not miss it one bit).

I actually got these new house numbers in 2019 but we didn't do anything with them until this year so it counts.

Back yard without the pergola plus you can see our wonderful sun umbrella and the paint scheme.

Action shot of Kent doing I don't even remember what to the umbrella.

Completed paint job plus our new chairs (we also got the table but I'm too lazy to dig up that photo too).

I repainted the sun face (it was green and rusty). It really pops now.

I also repainted Fat Cat, he'd faded a lot and now he's a vivid part of the yar.

I ran two virtual half marathons and also did a COVID virtual challenge (but then of course that stupid bone in my foot broke). But it was all hygge until then.

Hummingbird feeder and a HUMMINGBIRD! I was so excited to see that!

So very many surprise lilies!

A small fountain, which we both love.

I got special mugs and started using the frother on our Ninja coffee maker. I do like a decaf latte.

A tidy solution for all our masks.

The big 72" cat tree. It's now in the second bedroom, and the kittens love it. The platforms are a bit small for our big boy cats.

Two COVID kittens. Definitely hygge.

Privacy screens for the litter boxes (they were in a kid's tent from IKEA, this is a lot less . . . gaudy).

A rowing machine. I made a cover for the rail so it doesn't get dusty, and the kittens think it's wildly fun to play with that fabric.

We reorganized the Billies at the end of our dining room and put a lot of our baking/cooking supplies in there. It's so much easier for me to get stuff now as I'm just 5'4 1/2" and need a step stool for the top shelves of the kitchen cabinets.

I got more cloth napkins, four each of the three you see below. We kicked the paper napkin habit years ago but I wanted prettier ones. 

New kitchen bar stools. Yes they are very orange, also comfortable and work really well in our home.

My office set up, which includes a second table to make an L shaped desk, a second monitor, and my office chair. 

This fabulous tea kettle. The color is ombre, getting darker toward the bottom of the kettle.

Our refurbished Vitamix (that's the chili paste for a pozole in there). So glad we got that.

And a bigger Breville than the one we had (which we passed along to one of Kent's co-workers who adores it). We adore this one and use it nearly every single day.

So about those kittens

 This is kind of long so bear with me.

The first reason we got kittens was 100% me. I’ve seen a lot of pets on the various rescue sites whose owners died or had to move into assisted living and couldn’t keep their pets anymore. Their pictures just crush my soul, those animals are stressed and depressed and scared. When I think about my own life, I know that I always want to have kitties in my home. In my ideal state, my kitties would die like a week before I do or before I have to move into assisted living. But life isn’t always like that. Wally and Eddie are 13, so if I wait until they live out their full life span and assuming they live as long as Chloe did, I’ll be 67 when we’d be looking for another pair of cats. Then if those kitties live 20 years, well I don’t like the odds of them predeceasing me.

I know that it can be hard to bring just one cat into a home with resident cats, especially when they are as high strung and neurotic as Eddie and Wally. So I wanted a pair. That way they would always have each other.

Initially I looked for older cats as they’re both cheaper and in greater need. But as I inquired about them, they had health issues or other requirements that made integrating them into our home look pretty difficult. So I turned to kittens.

Here’s the other reason I wanted more kitties. This pandemic is taking a toll on everyone, me included. So many of the things Kent and I like to do are off the table and I’m feeling flat and apathetic. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I don’t even have the usual escape of running since my foot isn’t fully healed. The kittens are helping with that a lot. They’re absolutely hysterical in their kitten antics, and we’re both laughing a lot more these days. 

It’s still pretty daunting to have four cats. Right now, we keep the girls in the guest bedroom at night. That gives Wally his safe space with us in bed, and honestly it helps us too. After all, they’re kittens and they love to romp and play in the middle of the night. That doesn’t help us get a good night’s sleep. 

We’ve added a third litter box, which is in the guest bedroom too. The girls only use it at night, which makes us laugh. I bet they’d tell us they’re big kitties now and they’ll use the big kitties’ boxes, thank you very much. 

Annie has also had a prolapsed anus which hasn’t fully resolved (in fact, she’s at the vet today because she had a bloody stool last night and the prolapse was back again this morning). That brings back sad memories of Sammie, who only lived for seven more months after we adopted him when he was seven months old (he had feline infectious peritonitis which is always fatal). 

And having someone care for the cats when we do travel has now more than doubled. I booked kennel time for the girls at our vet’s as I’m not yet ready to have all four cats stay home alone with a once a day pet sitter visit. Stevie loves to chew wires, and Wally still intensely dislikes them both, so this seemed the wiser if more expensive path to take. 

Still, I’m super glad we got them. And yes, now I’m 100% a crazy cat lady as I’ve exceeded the formula: N + 1 where N equals the number of humans in the house. We were OK with three, but four? Yup, crazy cat people territory. 

Why I won’t talk politics with my brother

 (Or with you if you share his beliefs.)

This post has been one I’ve put off writing over and over again and I can’t do that any more. So bear with me because this is personal and hard to write. Or skip the post, your call.

My brother is my only full sibling, we share both parents and are just 11 months apart. When we were little, we were very close although much of that was from necessity as we had a bit of “us against the crazy world” thing going on. We huddled together as we shifted from my mom and dad’s house to my father and stepmother’s house, and went from being the only two children to the two youngest of six. Then both families added kids: my mom & dad had a child and adopted a child, and my father and stepmother had a child. 

He was there when much of my abuse occurred and that damaged him as much as it did me. It also shaped him; he’s said for decades that he’s a staunch supporter and advocate of survivors of sexual abuse, especially women.

You see where this is going, I’m sure. Yes, he supports our current president and at least from the outside looking in, I think he’s fully a supporter. And that’s where the title of this post comes from.

I cannot support 45 in anything. He’s gone on record about sexually assaulting women, he’s bragged about it and shown zero accountability or remorse. There’s not one bit of repentance in him. Supporting 45 invalidates any talk about being an advocate of survivors like me. You cannot have both positions in your head and be reasonable or sane. 

And to take it a step further, let’s go ahead and talk about abortion. I see conservatives making this election or really most elections about this issue, they phrase it in terms of being pro-life. Well OK, I get that. I’m personally deeply uncomfortable with abortion, especially if it’s used as birth control. But I extend that sanctity of life to all life, including convicted murderers. If life is precious before birth, it’s equally precious after birth. To remain consistent to my own values, I cannot support casual abortion and I absolutely do not support the death penalty.

Lest this start a distracting argument, let me be equally clear that I also don’t have it in me to tell someone who was raped, or has a diagnosis of severe disabilities or birth defects or a tubal pregnancy that tough shit, you must carry that baby to term. It’s clear we need a safe, legal option.

In 2004, Benedictine Sister Joan Chittister said the following in an interview with Bill Moyers:

"I do not believe that just because you are opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, a child educated, a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is."

That hit home for me. Where is the conservative support for women after they’ve given birth? Rhetorical question, of course, because they are not willing to fund social safety nets. 

Let me wrap up this much too long post. I started by saying this is why I won’t talk politics with my brother. I mean that. If we discuss politics any more than we have (and I shut down that line of conversation every time he’s started it), I will end the relationship. Everyone has their point of no return, and this one is mine. If you believe the way he does, and we have a relationship you want to keep, then honor my boundaries.

Way outside my comfort zone

 A couple of months ago, I saw an ad on Instagram for Shefit bras and was intrigued. I’ve always had problems finding sports bras that fit my band size and my chest. My band size is pretty small, about 30 inches, and most big box retailers don’t make sports bras that small. The few that do generally offer the pull-over-your-head kind. Those don’t work for me because if I can get it over my shoulders, it’s too big for around my ribs.

So I bought two of these bras and wow. I love them. In fact, I love them so much that when their marketing team sent an auto email asking me to review the bra, I did. Here’s what I wrote:

I was already difficult to fit in sports bras (small chest, bigger cup size) and then I had breast cancer. Now I've had a lumpectomy and radiation and my left breast is way different than my right. It doesn't matter with this bra--both sides are fully supported, there's no digging into painful spots and running no longer hurts my breasts. I'm glad I took a chance on this bra.

Friday, I got an email (not auto generated) from someone in their marketing team, and this is what she wrote:

I am reaching out on behalf of the SHEFIT marketing team. In support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we are sharing reviews from customers that have been affected by this disease and have found support by using SHEFIT Bra’s through their journey. Your review has been selected as one we would like to feature in our social channels. 

We are reaching out to request a photo of you in your SHEFIT to go along with your review. We can provide you with 1 free bra of your choice for taking part. However, if you do not feel comfortable, I totally understand. If you would like to share your social handles we can tag you in our post. 

Please send photos by Monday, Oct 5th.

My first reaction was heck no. I’m a 60 year old woman, not looking for fame and not an exhibitionist. But as I thought about it some more, I reconsidered. You see, one of the things that appealed to me about the brand was that the models weren’t all thin and white. They’ve got pretty good diversity there. But, and I shared this with the marketing person, what I haven’t seen is older women.

So Kent got some photos today, I sent three along to the marketing person and told her I was doing it because I think it’s important to show that there’s life after a breast cancer diagnosis, and that women of all ages can be fit.

Here’s what I sent (and be kind, this is not easy to show my nearly senior-citizen belly after two pregnancies and seven major abdominal surgeries!).

This one is my least favorite, although I don't hate it.

I like this one a lot.

Kent asked me to flex; this is his favorite photo and probably mine too.