A second reason for being distracted

As I mentioned in my previous post, I did go to Nashville alone. That was pretty weird; not traveling alone (I’ve done a ton of that) but visiting family without Kent. Jordan and Amanda were disappointed but also knew that Kent made the right decision.

This was intended to be a little bit longer of a visit—I left Thursday and came home fairly early Tuesday. We didn’t have anything planned for Thursday, so we spent the day catching up and letting Grace come to me in her own time. Grace remains a ridiculously happy child, very good natured and affectionate so it took no time at all before she was chattering away, calling me Nana and generally being a sweetheart. The scotch in the photo is a really nice one we gave Jordan for his 40th birthday this year and he kindly shared with me.

We did get to the zoo on Saturday but it was pretty cold so the monkeys didn’t come out (apparently Grace loves the monkeys). But the kids petting zoo had baby goats and she enjoyed that a lot.

It finally got warm on Sunday so we spent some time at a nearby park, running around and swinging. On Memorial Day, we hung out with Amanda’s dad and stepmother—her dad is known for his hospitality and had invited a bunch of people over. We enjoyed the pool, the company, the food, just all of it.

I also got in a couple of runs, which was nice. Up until then, Kansas City had just been pummeled by endless thunderstorms. Even though it was chilly in Nashville (about 50 when I ran), it was dry. 

One reason I've been so distracted

My mother-in-law lives in Tulsa, in a pretty good nursing home, University Village. She's been there about four and a half years; originally she started in an assisted living apartment but kept falling and passing out. The facility had warned us that when people finally move into a facility like this, even if they'd been living in their own home (as she had) and driving (which she did), a lot of times all the hidden health issues they've got become obvious because someone is there to see them and notice.

So long story short, she ended up crashing and never really recovered from that. She moved into Skilled nursing but didn't make progress with the physical therapy. So that was no longer an option, as her insurance wouldn't pay for the sessions without some forward progress.

But she's been if not happy, then content. She's watched her shows, sometimes a little football, she's had friends and family visiting, also her former co-workers and we'd gone done periodically (Kent more than me). 

Then the pandemic hit, and we thought "well this will be it, she'll catch the coronavirus and since she stays mostly in bed, it will make short work of her." But she didn't get it, and in fact her facility did really well staying on top of the positive cases they did get.

Last fall, she had what ended up being a stage 2 melanoma removed from her arm. She was too frail for a PET scan, the gold standard to determine if cancer is elsewhere but had an MRI. That MRI came back clear.

On May 25, Kent's birthday, University Village called and said they thought she was having a stroke and they'd sent her to the ER by ambulance. The ER doctors said she wasn't having a stroke but something was clearly going on so they ran other tests.

She has a couple of malignant brain tumors. Turns out they are glioblastoma (GBM). GBM is a grade 4 fast-growing and aggressive brain tumor. She's been rated a health risk of 6 (the highest/worst rating) and her life expectancy is probably about six months-ish.

Kent ended up going to Tulsa the day after his birthday, and did not come with me to Nashville to see our family there. He made the right choice for sure, and I would have gone with him if he needed me. But he told me to go to Nashville, that it would be OK, he would be able to see our family again. I felt guilty but I went alone. 

Christmas with kittens

Means no tree. Well not our usual tree. Instead, I put this little tree on our dining room table with a tree skirt. This tree has a story that goes back to 2009. 

We'd flooded (for the first of three times) and were displaced, living in temporary housing while our place was made livable again. So we didn't have a Christmas tree, we barely had clothes to be honest because we lost a lot of stuff in that flood. And Kent had been notified he would be getting laid off and I hadn't been able to find work in Boston.

We were in Target to get construction paper to make a Christmas tree. I saw this tree and really wanted to get it only you know it was $20 and for where we were (no jobs, our apartment flooded and uninhabitable) that was money we didn't have. Kent insisted we get it so we could have a little Christmas decoration, and all of Target in the South End got to see me cry. 

Flash forward 11 years and the reason for no Christmas tree is positive this time. Our two little kittens would absolutely destroy any tree so I'm resigned to no tree until probably 2022. Not even kidding. That's ok, I would rather have the kittens anyway.

Here's our fireplace. My mother made that wall hanging decades ago and it's one of my favorite things she's made. Hanging that is part of our Christmas decorating ritual every year. We have five hooks for stockings, and until last year would hang all five: two for the humans and three for the cats. Then Chloe died and I was gone a lot last December and all of January. Now of course we have four cats but still only five hooks. So yes, the stockings are for the cats. 

Still getting to know him

 Kent and I have been married for nearly 17 years (our anniversary is October 10). Three weeks ago I learned that he adores snickerdoodles, they are his hands-down favorite cookie in all the world. I learned this because I was looking around for another vegan cookie recipe, found one for snickerdoodles and asked him if he liked them.

He was not lying. I've made three batches now and he's not sick of them yet. In fact, he told me that if I gave him the bowl of cookie dough, he knew he'd eat the entire bowl even knowing that he would feel miserably sick afterwards. 

I love that I'm still getting to know him, he is my favorite human being in all the world. 

By the way, this was a full pan coming out of the oven. We ate some still warm, so yummy.

Cuteness overload

We went to Nashville last weekend.

And met Grace Elizabeth.

Our grandkitty, Leo, is a little unsettled.

I made bread pudding, holy cow it was good especially with the whiskey sauce I also made (sauce not shown).

It's really cool to see my son over the moon about his daughter.

On Monday, she slept on me for nearly two hours. I didn't mind in the least.

I am not easy to surprise

But . . .

My mother, sister, brother, sister-in-law and especially Kent did just that Friday night. Kent and I had plans for a quiet date night at a new to us restaurant (Affäre), or so I thought.

But when we got to the restaurant, the woman who greeted us was just so warm and kind and almost as though she’d been expecting me.

Narrator: in fact she had been expecting me

You know how when you’ve got reservations, they always double check your name and see where they’re going to seat you? She did none of those things, just said oh yes, you’re sitting back around here and led the way.

I was slightly ahead of Kent and I saw a 6-top table toward the back of the restaurant and immediately saw the back of my brother’s head (I would know his head anywhere), then saw my sister’s face, and my mother’s profile (she was sitting between my brother and sister), and readers, I think I might have staggered a bit. I definitely cried because they were there for an early celebration of my 60th birthday.

Keep in mind, my mother lives right outside Boise, my sister lives in Denver and my brother gets at most one night a week off (he works the overnight shift, he’s a county deputy). Having them all there was the most humbling amazing thing because I know what they each gave up or spent to be there.

That may have been the most amazing dinner of my life. My mom had saved the card I gave her for her 60th birthday; she’d been a little down about that milestone and I thought the card was just perfect for her. Now 22 years later, she gave it to me.

At one point in her life, she collected Swarovski crystal animals, they’re quite lovely. Most of hers are clear, and I’ve always liked them. A couple of years ago, she gave me a tiny little cat which has a place of honor in my display cabinet. This year, she got me the Year of the Rat ornament. Isn’t it cool?

My sister-in-law brought the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers and some yummy chocolates. The flowers have opened up and look so good.

Here are some photos from dinner:

All of us

My sister Amy and me

Amy, Doug and me

Tomorrow is my actual birthday. I haven’t dreaded this milestone in the least—honestly the birthday I had the worst time with was my 25th birthday. The rest have been easy, and this year I have so much to be thankful for. I have the best marriage and a husband who brings so much love and joy into my life, my fourth grandchild/second granddaughter was born just over a week ago (more about that later), and I’ve had no recurrences of melanoma and no evidence of breast cancer right now. I never say cured about any cancer, but no evidence of disease is great. While my healed pelvis always hurts, it’s bearable especially because I know I’m not damaging myself.

Life is good. I think my 60s will be wonderful.

Back to Bryn Mawr (briefly)

After we got home from our Thanksgiving visit with Ben and Jen, we flew out the following Friday to Bryn Mawr, PA. My younger brother had a significant birthday this month, and all his siblings and spouses flew in to surprise him at his mother’s house (she’s my stepmother).

We had a great, rowdy, boisterous visit over the four days we were there, and my brother Stephen was completely surprised by it. He told me later he saw me about the second person in and then it dawned on him—hey wait a minute, the whole family is here!

It was good to see everyone. Technically, the step-siblings aren’t my step-siblings any longer. Well legally anyway, but I’ve known them since I was three years old so they are absolutely family.

Church of the Redeemer

That Sunday I attended the church we all went to when I was little. It's a gorgeous building and I was so happy to see the parish is still flourishing. That was also the only Advent service I was able to attend this month, because the day after we got back from Bryn Mawr, I hopped on a plane for Las Vegas. That one was a work trip, and anyway I don't care for gambling nor do I drink much these days. So it was a long week.

At the end of those 10 days, I was thoroughly confused about what time zone I was in. We'd spent nearly a week in California, home here in Kansas for a few days (Central time zone), then four days in PA (Eastern time zone) and then I spent nearly a week in Las Vegas (Pacific time zone again).

Last weekend, we drove to Tulsa to see Kent's mother. She's in a nursing home and unable to travel so we make sure to celebrate Christmas with her. Kent's brother gets her room decorated in early December, which she loves, and we buy the presents from her to us then have fun opening them with her.

So this weekend is the first and only weekend I've been home this month. I won't lie, it's nice to be home if only for a couple of weeks.

Everyone, including spouses

Melissa (brother's GF), me, Jennifer

All the siblings plus my stepmother

Silly family--Kent, Erin, Matt in the back, then Jen, me, Pierce

November was busy too

In November, I won tickets for Kent and me to attend a gala for the Veterans Community Project. We bid on tickets for the Hip Hop Nutcracker and kept bidding long enough to get the tickets. We also bought a slew of raffle tickets for a quilt—there were several quilts, but I was only interested in the one you see here. Yes, we won the quilt too.

And we made our last trip to Yuma for Thanksgiving. We knew we were going to go for a hike so I (finally) replaced my hiking boots. Dad had bought me an amazing pair years ago, but they were destroyed when we flooded in Boston. These are the same brand, although not quite as nice.

Alison has taught herself acrobatics and flexibility moves. She is truly a pretzel (and didn’t get that from me, that’s for sure).

Kent, Ben and Jordan finally finished out their customized game of Risk Legacy. Jordan got that a couple of years ago and as you play, you settle the rules, and there are only so many games you can play until the board is full. This was the final year. Kent says it was a really great gift and I know he’s enjoyed playing it with Jordan and Ben.

We had our usual amazing food for Thanksgiving, made even more amazing by the fact that Ben and Jen and the family were moving to California the very next week. So we enjoyed the food, the fire pit, seeing all my family together again, and especially enjoying having Amanda as our daughter-in-law now. It was a great trip.

We got back late the Saturday after Thanksgiving, just in time for the blizzard the very next day. Yes, a real blizzard. But things cleared up enough for us to go to that Hip Hop Nutcracker I mentioned earlier—and it was amazing!