Friday, December 31, 2021

2021 in review

This has been another strange year, although the strangeness is becoming less strange and more familiar. COVID continues to be a huge global crisis, here in the US people are still angrily divided over mandatory vaccines/masking/quarrantining. I often wonder if it was this way with the Spanish Influenza pandemic over a century ago. I’m afraid it was; humans are humans, nothing’s changed there. 


What did you do in 2021 that you’d never done before? 


I joined a Crossfit gym, and am loving it. I’m getting much stronger, and know this is also great for my bones.


Did anyone close to you give birth? 


Not yet. We’re waiting for Abigail Louise to make her appearance in a couple of months to join Jordan, Amanda and Grace (oh and Leo the cat).


Did anyone close to you die? 


Yes, this has been a year of extreme loss. I have a team of seven and two of the women who are on the team lost their mothers this year. We’re a really close team, closer than any I’ve managed before so their losses affected all of us. Christine lost her mother (who was only 58) in February, and Sara lost her mother after that double organ transplant in October. Sara’s mother wasn’t all that old either, she was 64.


Horribly, I lost a woman on my team on July 31. Mary was 40 years old and just died. That loss also gutted my entire team because she hadn't been ill.


On July 2, Kent and I lost his mother, Ardis. Although she had lived a long life (she was 84), we still weren’t ready for that. Kent was able to see her earlier in the year so he takes comfort from that, that she didn’t die during the lock downs.


And while some may not understand this, losing Wally gutted me. Yes, we made the decision to euthanize him and I still believe it was the right decision. It still guts me. I miss the cat he used to be.


Did you suffer illness or injury? 


Yes, on July 5 I fell and broke two bones in my wrist. At least this wasn’t a break due to my crappy bones.


What countries did you visit? 


Hmm the countries of isolation and lock down? In other words, I didn’t visit any countries this year.


What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021? 


Better sleep? Less anxiety? At this point after hoping for each year to be better since 2019, I’m setting the bar pretty low and not saying things like “oh next year will be so much better.” 


What dates from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?


July 2, when Ardis died.

July 5 when I broke my wrist.


That’s it.


What was your biggest achievement of the year? 


This isn’t really an achievement but a reframing. I have a terrible habit of getting a diagnosis and then immediately discounting whatever it is. For example, when the orthopedist called to tell me I had fractured my pelvis, my response was “I did not!” Well I did. 


And this year, when the Meniere’s disease ramped up so much, I couldn’t deny that diagnosis any more. 


Somehow that all combined together in my head and I realized yeah so the Army diagnosed me with reactive airway disease when I was 19 and I have spent the decades since saying no, I don’t have that. But the fact of the matter is I do. And I need to quit dicking around and denying it because that may end up killing me in the time of COVID, all the varieties of flu, and any other respiratory illness. 


A couple of weeks ago I asked my PCP if he would support a request for reasonable accommodation under the ADA so that I could move to fully remote work. He did, and I put in the application and it was approved.


I feel really weird about that course of action; I hope this is the right way to go. Is that an achievement? Maybe? 


What was the best thing you bought? 


At work, I had a sit/stand desk. Since I’ve been working from home, I’ve really missed it. I found one that has a small enough footprint and is quite easy to raise and lower (it’s not electric, I didn’t want that). It’s made a lot of difference for me.


What did you get really excited about? 


I was excited to be able to visit my kids again (words are inadequate to tell you how much I miss them). Kent was supposed to go with me in May to see Jordan and his family and then in July to see Ben and his family. Only of course his mom’s health took a huge nosedive in May, and then of course she died in July. So my excitement was tempered by her illness and death and also by him not being with me. 


What book(s) did you love this year? 


I continued my escapism into science fiction and some fantasy. In no particular order, here are some of my favorites:

  • A Boy and His Dog at the End of the Word by C. A. Fletcher
  • Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir 
  • Angel of the Crows by Katherine Addison
  • The Goblin Emperor, also by Katherine Addison
  • Fugitive Telemetry by Martha Wells (her most recent book in the Murderbot series, all of which I adore)

What song will always remind you of 2021? 


I heard this at church, not long after Kent’s mother died, and Mary died and Sara’s mother was so gravely ill. This song brought me so much comfort.