On April 14, I shared that my treatment plan might change based on these—I’ve got answer to two of them and so far, no change.
And if you have any urge to call this a battle, well just don’t. A battle implies winning and losing and I especially dislike when I hear “Oh she lost her battle with cancer.” No, no she didn’t. She died from a freaking disease.
Also, no pink for me during this disease treatment. I love the color pink, it’s one of my favorites and I look good in it. But it’s such a breast cancer cliché and I don’t want to end up being “that breast cancer woman.” I also love the color blue and I’ve decided that’s my go to color for all of this.
In my Sunday school class this morning in a very strange coincidence, a woman who’s part of the fabric for faith group mentioned that she didn’t think the clergy realized that the prayer quilts this group makes are available and she wondered how to make that more known. The woman next to me, who knew about my situation, turned to me and said, “You need one of those!” I thought so to, and long story not so long I have a prayer quilt. She asked what color I wanted and I immediately and without any consideration, said anything but pink. This is what she brought me:
The group prayed for me and I cried. I need to tell my friend Shima she can stop praying that I’m feeling my feelings—mission accomplished.
- If the MRI shows more cancer elsewhere, this plan will obviously change depending on where and how much is found. The MRI showed no cancer in my right breast. It did show a pleural effusion and I’ll be having chest x-rays this week to make sure nothing wonky is going on there. My surgeon isn’t concerned in the least and says this doesn’t require moving my surgery date. I will probably always be nervous about something that's potentially linked to melanoma so more to come once I get the radiologist's report.
- If the genetic testing shows I have the breast cancer gene, then I’ll have a double mastectomy. I’m all clear on the gene front so that’s good news for me and for my children.
- If the path report post-op comes back with cancer showing then I’ll be looking at chemo. Of course, no update here since the surgery isn’t until May 6.
And if you have any urge to call this a battle, well just don’t. A battle implies winning and losing and I especially dislike when I hear “Oh she lost her battle with cancer.” No, no she didn’t. She died from a freaking disease.
Also, no pink for me during this disease treatment. I love the color pink, it’s one of my favorites and I look good in it. But it’s such a breast cancer cliché and I don’t want to end up being “that breast cancer woman.” I also love the color blue and I’ve decided that’s my go to color for all of this.
In my Sunday school class this morning in a very strange coincidence, a woman who’s part of the fabric for faith group mentioned that she didn’t think the clergy realized that the prayer quilts this group makes are available and she wondered how to make that more known. The woman next to me, who knew about my situation, turned to me and said, “You need one of those!” I thought so to, and long story not so long I have a prayer quilt. She asked what color I wanted and I immediately and without any consideration, said anything but pink. This is what she brought me:
The group prayed for me and I cried. I need to tell my friend Shima she can stop praying that I’m feeling my feelings—mission accomplished.
1 comment:
What a beautiful quilt, for a beautiful woman inside and out. Blue is my favorite color. It’s calming, grounding, and helps me feel safe. I hope these prayers help you feel strong, and safe. Certainly loved.
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