It's still not a banana

But it probably is Meniere’s disease. Which isn’t really a disease, any more than the reactive airway disease I have is a disease. (I don't have asthma, pinky promise.)

Way back in 2014, I got my ears thoroughly checked out by both an ENT and an audiologist. I had some mild low frequency hearing loss, also fullness in the ears but I hadn’t yet had any vertigo or much tinnitus. I mean, let’s face it—as I’ve said elsewhere, I was a military musician for years and you cannot perform the 1812 Overture with real howitzers and not have some tinnitus. But it wasn’t bad, not yet anyway.

About a year later, I was back with the same issues: very full ears that actually aren’t full but sure feel that way, very mild tinnitus and increased lower frequency hearing loss. At that same visit, my ENT uncovered some pretty severe sinus infection issues I’d had for years; I ended up having sinus surgery which helped so much. And I also ended up with a hearing aid—I posted then that I gasped when I heard in stereo again, it had been so long.

But less than a year later my hearing resolved, which I did not expect. That’s when Meniere’s was first suggested and I pushed back hard. I felt like that was a BS diagnosis, and that people who are diagnosed with that tend to get slotted into the crazy, crackpot, difficult patient. No thanks.

I don’t remember exactly when I had the episodes of vertigo (probably because I don’t want to remember) but they were brutal. The world tilted and rotated; I couldn’t walk but had to crawl to the bathroom to puke my guts out for a couple of hours. That happened oh maybe three or four times and then vanished. (Yes, another Meniere’s symptom which I didn’t want to acknowledge.)

In the last six months, my hearing in my left ear has deteriorated a lot, the pressure in both ears is immense and the tinnitus in my left ear is more like standing right next to a Boing 767 engine roaring along on an international flight. It’s loud and it hurts. 

Then this last Saturday, I had an absolutely brutal episode of vertigo, complete with throwing up for several hours. I still feel the vertigo lingering at the edges but God willing, I’m not at the fall down and need to puke stage.

But that got me off my butt and I called my audiologist again, who said oh hey you have to see the ENT first. But he’s just going to send me to you! Yes, but you have to go to him first. And in a nice piece of luck, he had a cancelation the very next morning, which was yesterday. 

And yes, my hearing has deteriorated again. My audiologist reprogrammed my hearing aid for me on the spot, so now I’m hearing in stereo again. The ENT was great, did a really thorough review of my records with him and discussed everything in detail. Since I’m now presenting with all four symptoms, it’s pretty much a certainty that this is Meniere’s. He suggested considering a brain MRI since it’s been a few years (how sad is that that I’ve had more than one?) but doesn’t expect that will show anything. I don’t either but I agreed to get one because I also said I didn’t have melanoma, argued with my orthopedist that my pelvis was not fractured and didn’t really believe my oncologist that I had breast cancer.

So. Clearly I had better rely on my medical partners rather than my own opinion.

Here's my results from 2015 (dots show from 2014, the lines were from that day's test):

And from yesterday (dots are from 2018, the lines are from yesterday):

The right ear (which is weirdly on the left) now shows some typical high frequency hearing loss which generally happens to us all. It's the reverse slope hearing loss in the left ear that's the stumper.

The MRI is scheduled for January 28 so more to come. 

I don't even know what to title this

How's that for real?

I've spent the last couple of weeks alternatively bummed and irked and accepting. No, this hearing loss isn't huge on the face of it and yes, others have it far, far worse (aren't there always others who have it far worse?). But this is my reality and I don't much like it.

For your viewing pleasure, here's my hearing test results. The results for my left ear are on (oddly) the right: the Xs are the most recent results, and the dots are from last year. The biggest not good changes have occurred between 500 and 2000 HZ. The reason this matters is that's a big drop over last year. I'm still considered moderate in terms of the loss, although it doesn't feel all that moderate to me and probably not to the people who end up having to repeat themselves.

At any rate, I've met with the audiologist and ordered a hearing aid. It will be here next week and then we'll see if it helps and how much. Fortunately there's a 30 day trial period so if I hate it or it doesn't help me, I'll "only" lose $150.

Funny aside, the audiologist I met with today is the one who did my hearing test last year. At the end of today's appointment, he confessed that he doesn't really remember patients' names, just their hearing test results but when I'd mentioned again today that I'd been in the military, he fully remembered me. The reason I mentioned being in the military and being a musician again was he'd asked me if I had any tinnitus. Look, I said, I was a musician in the Army and we played the 1812 Overture with real howitzers, plus I fronted a rock back. Of course I have tinnitus. I don't know any musician who doesn't, to be honest.

Tis but a scratch

Yesterday I got the results of the MRI I had last week to see if there were any obvious causes for the low frequency hearing loss in my left ear. This kind of hearing loss can be caused by small tumors pressing on the auditory nerve (or whatever that nerve is called) but in my case, there are no tumors. So that’s good but still begs the question of why I have this loss.

My ENT pointed out that I had a small cyst sort of in the middle of my skull, but that the radiologist didn’t think it was alarming. Still, the ENT wanted to take a look. So bam, he squirted numbing stuff up both nostrils and then scoped my nose. It was as yucky as it sounds and not at all what I thought would happen yesterday. He thinks the cyst is left over from having my adenoids removed, probably a bit of scar tissue wrapped around a bit of mucus gland that's slowly grown over time. I didn't know I had it, it doesn't seem to impact me in any way so as far as I'm concerned it can just stay there.

He also pointed out that I had a lot of swelling in one of my sinuses on the left side, and asked me how frequently I got sinus infections. “I’ve never had one in my life,” I replied. Not so, he said, that kind of swelling was indicative of a sinus infection, and probably a pretty bad one. Hmmm.

On the drive home I realized I didn’t really know the symptoms of sinus infections beyond a fever and Technicolor snot—I rarely get a fever and it’s usually associated with a stomach virus, and I never get weird colored snot. So I turned to Dr. Google to find out what the symptoms actually were. I didn’t even click on any links, I didn’t have to:

Of the items on that list, I experience the first four symptoms plus a bad cough at least five or six times a year. In fact, I just went through a fairly bad round of those symptoms last week. I get the sort of face melting headache with extreme pressure, the kind where even my teeth hurt, and a snotted up head that makes loud whistling noises when I blow my nose (when Kent’s around, he will look at me and say “I heard that” after my sinuses whistle), and some dizziness when I move around or shift my position.

What all this means is (a) yes, I do get sinus infections and probably pretty often and more important (b) I need to quit normalizing and not paying attention to what my body is saying. And (Kent will love this) I need to readjust my notion of when I might need to see the doctor. All my life, I've believed that I either need to be actively puking and/or have the runs OR be running a fever of at least 100. Looks like I need to reconsider that framework.