Sunday, January 6, 2019

Been pondering

While in Yuma for what’s probably the last time (I mean really, I think we’ve seen just about all there is to see in Yuma and besides Ben and Jen have moved), Amanda and I were heading somewhere with Jen and the kids. We both complimented Jen on their new van, and she said something that’s stuck with me. She said that deciding what kind of van to buy to replace their very old, decrepit van led to far deeper conversations about what kind of people they wanted to be and how they wanted to live their lives.

I don’t know about you, but my car buying criteria has usually been along the lines of whether the car is reliable, carries what I need it to carry, etc. I’ve never thought about a car, or really any purchase (large or small) in terms of who I want to be. But I think that I should have been doing that all along, and I definitely have been thinking like that since Thanksgiving.

Figuring out who I want to be, what kind of woman I want to be is a little exhilarating and a lot freeing. So much of what I’ve done in the past has been more of a rehab rather than prehab approach. Think of it this way—I’m in rehab right now as a result of that fractured pelvis. At some point, that rehab will be done, and I have a choice. I can stop the rehab exercises, or I can stick with them to keep developing strength and flexibility in the muscles around my pelvis. Or here’s another way to think of it. I want to pursue things rather than do something as a fix. I realize that’s pretty subtle and maybe I’m the only one that will resonant with but boy do I. 

So here’s a partial list of the woman I want to be—think of this as the 2019 kick off if you will.
I want to be the woman who:

  • Trains appropriately. I’m still horrified that I trained enough and ignored the pain enough that my bone split. 
  • Lives a balanced life. By balanced, I mean I want to choose carefully and deliberately where I spend my free time. I don’t have much of it and I get so frustrated when at the end of a weekend I look back and think I didn’t get to do the things I really like to do.
  • Builds friendships. Moving so much has made this one pretty tough. It’s hard to build friendships if I’m not there. I carefully tend the friends from Boston and I would love to have those kinds of friends here.
  • Devotes as much time to my faith as I do to hobbies (and yes, that includes running). 
  • Has great posture. I know my mom is probably laughing at this one. She used to tell me all the time as a kid that I needed to stand up straight. You were right, Mom.
  • Stays strong and active, regardless of my age. I’ll be 59 in less than a month and 60 is just around the bed. I cannot overstate how important it is to me to stay mobile and active.
  • Advocates for victims of sexual violence. I’m looking forward to volunteering more with MOCSA this year. 
  • Regularly blogs. I’ve been blogging for nearly 11 years, and while pretty much no one reads what I write, that’s never been why I write. I write for me and since that’s the case, I need to write for me more regularly.
  • Grooms my old kitty. This may sound insignificant, but Chloe doesn’t groom herself much these days. I suspect she’s got a fair amount of arthritis and it’s painful for her. Consequently, her fur has little mats, not enough to shave but probably enough to annoy her. We bathed her last weekend and I’ve been using the Furminator on her a little bit most days this week, and it seems to help. 

I still have a lot of catch up posting to do from this fall. I find that when the work/personal life balance tips heavily one way or the other, something gives. In this case, the balance tipped heavily toward work and that sapped all the energy I had for writing or sewing or really much of anything else.

This video is of a house pretty near us. They go all out at Christmas with their lights and while the video quality isn't best, you can get a sense of the fun and over the top display. They've got flying pigs everywhere although I'm not sure you can see them in this video.



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