Because we’re friends

One of my closest friends is doing a 14 day yoga and cleanse challenge. She posted on Facebook asking if anyone would do it with her, so I raised my hand.

I’ve known Kerry since 2001. We shared a back wall for our cubes and worked on the same technical training development team. We’ve been there for each other through good times and bad, and there’s not much I wouldn’t do for her.

In early 2006, after my sixth major abdominal surgery, I begged Kerry to go to Pilates with me. I told her I needed someone to go with me because I’d never done it before and because I thought it would be good to have an accountability partner. I was—no joke—afraid my guts were going to end up down by my knees if I didn’t get my abs in order. She agreed without hesitation and we had a blast going first to Pilates classes and then later, after we met Cindy (an instructor who is amazing—long story but trust me, she’s awesome), we included yoga too. I credit us going faithfully twice a week for me really kicking off my dedication to staying fit and also with my much faster recovery after my seventh major abdominal surgery later that year.

She stuck with me long distance too, when we moved to Boston. In fact, other than my younger son and his family, she and her husband were the only ones to come visit us. That meant the world to me because Boston was not an easy place to live and while I made some good friends, I missed the KC ones.

This year, she and her family relocated to southern Georgia. I think in many ways what she’s done is harder than when Kent and I moved. She’s lived in the KC area since she was about five (except for college) so this is home in a very real sense. Her mother and sister and nephews live here, and her husband’s family is from Emporia, which is just a couple of hours south. So she’s completely uprooted herself.

Now you might think that I’m not one for cleanses and you'd be right; I’d rather live right every day. The foods that we’re supposed to eat in this cleanse? Well no. One of the presenters said we should eat things that animals could find and eat in nature, and I agree with that. She said you’d never find a brown rice pasta bush in the wild, but then went on to say that we should drink a green smoothie (that has protein powder as an ingredient) every day. I’m absolutely positive there are no green smoothie trees or protein powder bushes out there in the wild.

And the one thing that drives me batty about yoga is when I inadvertently find a work out (sorry, I’m not calling it a practice) that emphasizes the spiritual side of yoga. I respect that others feel that way but I don’t. However, for Kerry I will most definitely ignore the ohms and any talk about a higher power (or more likely just repurpose it to align with what I believe).

So far, I’ve done three days of workouts—the first day was pretty good, all about the abs which I’m always up for. The second day . . . well let’s just say I did the abbreviated version and then did aerobics. Today’s session was a great workout and I tuned out the instructor’s spiritual talk.

Probably the best part of doing this (aside from wanting to be there for Kerry, the way she’s always been there for me) is that I don’t know these workouts. I can’t just phone it in and that’s a very good thing. But I’m not going to drink any green smoothies.

Sometimes I wonder

Sewing, yoga, running and blogging—four things I enjoy for the most part, although I’m not exactly what you’d call expert in any of them. Generally my enjoyment of these activities is enough for me, but sometimes I’m so competitive that I get myself all knotted up over my lack of expertise. Occasionally, it’s been bad enough that I’ve actually stopped doing one or the other.

Case in point, I’m trying to step up my fitness because I feel better that way. Tuesday morning, I did the hardest lower body weight workout DVD I own and just got more and more sore as the day wore on. Yesterday was a run day, and I was so sore from Tuesday’s workout that the run was miserably tough. I kept wondering why was doing this, why run, what’s the point? After all, I don’t run races (I hate to lose so it’s not fun for me), I’m not in any sort of a running group (which is way too reminiscent of running when I was in the Army, so no thanks) and it’s just me out there at 5 AM which is stupidly early because I have to be up by 4:30 to be able to run shortly after 5 so really—why do I do this?

I feel the same way about blogging. I certainly don’t have a big audience, I rarely get comments and yet I keep writing and have done so for six years and over 1100 posts.

Sewing—same story, different verse. I sew some things well, but struggle with others (forget welt pockets, they are dead to me). And still I buy patterns and fabric and I sew.

Yoga isn’t any different.  I will never be able to have my feet flat on the ground when I’m in downward dog, not ever. My triangle is a sad little triangle because I just don’t bend that way. I keep doing it though, in the hope that as inflexible as I am, I won’t lose the little that I do have as I get older.

Yes, I enjoy these activities. But sometimes I miss the days of being really quite good at something. Maybe you have to learn all these things quite young or maybe you really do have to be born with a certain build or whatever. All I know is I’m mostly right in the middle of mediocre and sometimes that just isn’t enough.

Edited the title because tone can't be read online and this isn't about me feeling down on myself or depressed. 

Maybe it's a new yoga pose

Whatever it is, it sure isn't downward dog. I'm off to Colorado for a family reunion and I'll probably post some pictures from there later this week.