Case in point, I’m trying to step up my fitness because I feel better that way. Tuesday morning, I did the hardest lower body weight workout DVD I own and just got more and more sore as the day wore on. Yesterday was a run day, and I was so sore from Tuesday’s workout that the run was miserably tough. I kept wondering why was doing this, why run, what’s the point? After all, I don’t run races (I hate to lose so it’s not fun for me), I’m not in any sort of a running group (which is way too reminiscent of running when I was in the Army, so no thanks) and it’s just me out there at 5 AM which is stupidly early because I have to be up by 4:30 to be able to run shortly after 5 so really—why do I do this?
I feel the same way about blogging. I certainly don’t have a big audience, I rarely get comments and yet I keep writing and have done so for six years and over 1100 posts.
Sewing—same story, different verse. I sew some things well, but struggle with others (forget welt pockets, they are dead to me). And still I buy patterns and fabric and I sew.
Yoga isn’t any different. I will never be able to have my feet flat on the ground when I’m in downward dog, not ever. My triangle is a sad little triangle because I just don’t bend that way. I keep doing it though, in the hope that as inflexible as I am, I won’t lose the little that I do have as I get older.
Yes, I enjoy these activities. But sometimes I miss the days of being really quite good at something. Maybe you have to learn all these things quite young or maybe you really do have to be born with a certain build or whatever. All I know is I’m mostly right in the middle of mediocre and sometimes that just isn’t enough.
Edited the title because tone can't be read online and this isn't about me feeling down on myself or depressed.