It's complicated

Kent says he doesn't know all the rules, he just knows that I have rules. So for your amusement, here are a few of the Rules According to Elizabeth:

• Coffee is meant to be drunk only in the morning and only before brushing your teeth.
• Peppermint ice cream is the best ice cream flavor in the universe.
• Breakfast can be served for dinner; the reverse is not true.
• Toast and bacon should be nearly burnt.
• Fruit should almost always be eaten raw; the exceptions can be counted on one hand.
• Also fruit and chocolate are an unnatural pairing—both are great separately but combining them brings ruin.
• Brussel sprouts are disgusting in any form.
• Always clean from the top down.
• Toilet paper should be pulled from under the roll, not over the top—this is so you use less of it. Not that we do this since we have a cat who destroys the roll no matter how it’s hung. We keep ours in a storage canister by the toilet.
• Dust after vacuuming.
• Meat is a condiment and not a major portion of the meal.
• Dogs are good but cats are much, much better.
• I can’t eat restaurant pizza now, thanks to Kent. His pizza trumps any other pizza in the world.
• Steel-cut oats makes for a perfect breakfast; just add a little brown sugar and enjoy.
• Most comedies are stupid.
• Chick flicks are too.
• The book version of something is almost always better than the movie. The only exception I can think of—and it wasn’t better although it was as good—was Name of the Rose.
• And because of the books and movies rule, I rarely watch movies.