Day 27

I am grateful for Kent. Well you knew I'd get to this topic before the 28 days were over, right?

In my previous marriage, I didn't understand the notion of spouse as best friend.

Actually that's not quite right. I was very nearly scornful of the idea that I could be married to my best friend, that husbands and wives could fully support each other, be 100% for each other all while seeing the spouse as he/she really is. I thought that was just a delusional idea perpetuated by sappy love songs on the radio.

I'm happy to say that I was wrong. I have that today. Kent sees me as I am and thinks that the "as I am" bit is just fine. Somehow he can still encourage me to aim higher, do more, try new things all without implying that I should do those things because I'm lacking now.

10 years into this marriage, I am still thankful to be loved by him and married to him.

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Edited to add that I wrote this post Monday evening before we went to dinner. As is so often the case with us, we had a really good conversation at dinner about life and things that matter (there's something about a hotel restaurant that for us anyway fosters great conversation). I told him then that this post was coming and that everything he was saying and doing at dinner only confirmed how incredibly fortunate I am to have him as my husband.

Dear Kent,

I know we play the silly “I win” game all the time—where we tell each other that no, I win! But today’s the day I hope you’ll see the truth.

You say you win because now you love wearing your slippers around the house and because I brought kitties into your world. Fair enough, I did show you the kitty way and yes, I introduced you to the comforts of slippers. Oh and I suppose I’m to thank for your much improved diet.

But you’ve given me the things that really matter. I have a partner for life who thinks I rock. I laugh a lot more now. Plus I’ve really mellowed out a lot—if my sons are reading this, I know they agree. I’m less quick to get frustrated or annoyed, and I’m not nearly so insistent on everything being just so.

You have changed me, made me a better woman and really just a much nicer human being.

So clearly I win. Neener neener.

Love,

Elizabeth

P.S. Happy anniversary.

Our adventures

Kent pointed out to me that I'd omitted the (embarrassing) details about how we got utterly lost driving from Ikea in Stoughton, MA to Fabric Corner in Arlington, MA on Saturday.

We started at Point A and needed to get to Point B:


View Larger Map

Google maps promised us a 42 minute trip. Since Tropical Storm Danny was moving through the area, we figured an hour drive might be more realistic. What we didn't realize was that Google called a Y intersection a traffic round-about. Those are two very different intersections and that's where things went horribly, horribly wrong. Add to that the maddening habit Cambridge, Winchester and Arlington have of only labeling the cross streets, but never the street you are actually on and you have a nice two hour drive that postponed our lunch until 3 PM as we drove through Arlington, Winchester, Arlington, Winchester, Arlington, Cambridge and finally Arlington while the rains came pouring down.

I think it speaks well of our marriage that we really didn't get cranky with each other, just sort of near each other. And once we were fed, even that disappeared--faster than the tropical storm did anyway.

Solving some storage problems

What with the recession, Kent’s company didn’t give bonuses in January—hardly unexpected but still disappointing. However, even though the economy hasn’t really recovered (I’m still out of work!), they did give a bonus this month.

We are not wildly spendy people so we are saving most of it. But we set aside a little bit for each of us to spend on our hobbies. I mentioned the other day that I was getting a new sewing cabinet which will simplify the set up/clean up process. Right now I have to empty almost a quarter of the closet under the stairs to get my sewing machine and supplies out. Then I have to thoroughly clean the countertop on the living room side so no residual grease or food gets on my fabrics. Since our place is not the brightest, I string lights all around and still feel like I’m sewing in the dark. And I have to take it all down every night because of the cats—it’s a complete pain. We ordered the cabinet Thursday and right now it looks as though it will get here Tuesday. Stay tuned for pictures.

We’re heading down to Ikea today to get a bookcase for our front hall. The one we have is slightly too deep for the space and also completely open. Wally likes to jump up the shelf that holds a box full of change. He’s knocked it off once, and he pushes books back and out and all around. So we’re going to get something like this. Fortunately we work well together when we assemble furniture, otherwise this might be a long day.