Old tapes

My sister and I were talking—ok emailing—the other day about old tapes, the negative tapes we play in our heads that say in various ways that we aren’t good enough. We'd agreed that those tapes are so hard to change yet so damaging that they can't stay.

That conversation stuck with me, and this morning as I ran, I remembered another one that continues to play in my head—I’m not a runner.

Oh the irony of that tape! Because it’s true, I have always had a very hard time considering myself to be a runner, even as I am actually running. Somewhere in my brain, the definition of runner has become hugely inflated with impossibly high standards that include sub-six minute miles, at least marathon distances (preferably ultra-marathon distances!) and so on and so forth.

How silly is that? The truth is, I run therefore I am a runner.

Also here are my new cardio shoes, the Rykas I mentioned here. They are not perfect and I do have to wear my thick Balega socks (the Hidden Contour ones if you are interested), but they work and I even like the way they look.

Cinderella?

I swear I’m not Cinderella—I wear a respectable 7.5 in my street shoes. But holy cow it’s hard to find shoes I can use for cardio workouts. I have no meat on my feet, they’re narrow plus I have long-ish toes. I’ve now bought and returned four pairs of shoes with a fifth pair ordered.

Here’s a photo of my running shoes on the left, cardio shoes on the right.

My running shoes are Brooks, I love them but because I had to size up to accommodate my toes, I also have to wear thick running socks.

The cardio shoes are Mizuno, and I got them nine, maybe ten years ago. They were fantastic and would still be fantastic today only as with the running jacket I mentioned here, they were damaged in our flood. Unfortunately, while the restoration process made them look great (super white!), the leather also shrank and now they pinch the toes on my left foot.

Now you might say hey, that flood was nearly seven years ago. What gives, why haven’t you replaced them already? Oh I’ve tried. And then I would focus on running and sort of ignore these shoes.

But when it’s below 20F out or there’s any snow or ice, I don’t run. I am not at all interested in falling and breaking a hip. I also turn to cardio when my aerobic fitness needs a boost, which is the case this year. Hence the not-all-that-sudden urgency.

I’ve tried Asics, Nikes, New Balance and a current version of Mizunos. They are all much too wide, so much so that socks won’t fix it. Next up is a pair of Rykas. In the meantime, I’ve put a shoe tree in the left shoe in hopes that the shoe might stretch just a tiny bit. A girl can dream.