Learning to accept reality

Boy this pandemic has really been—well I don’t even know the right word. 

When we first all quarantined way back on March, I read the guidelines on who was considered high risk and who was not. I didn’t seem to fall into the high-risk category as I’m not quite old enough and was no longer in active treatment for cancer.

But in May, St. Luke’s (which is where most of my care team works) said that anyone who was 60 or older was in the high-risk category. I thought well OK, they said it and they’re the medical professionals.  

As more information came out, it seemed as though the definition for high-risk got tighter and that I sort of did/maybe didn’t fit. I am over 60, I do have reactive airway disease (which is not asthma and mine is under excellent control) but aside from all the surgeries and the two cancers, I’m quite healthy.

So, I’d pretty much decided that I’m not in the high-risk category and I’d resigned myself to not getting the coronavirus vaccine until June, in the last wave of immunizations here in Kansas.

Bonus Annie picture

But wait! On Tuesday I got an email from St. Luke’s. In that email, they said that since I’m considered high-risk (!!), I could get the vaccine on Sunday. They urged me to schedule that appointment immediately as openings were limited and they were first come, first served to the people who received this notification.

I immediately scheduled the appointment and then had to take in the knowledge that yes, I am high-risk. 

As silly as this may sound, I’ve struggled with that and it took Kent pointing out to me that I was equating high-risk with frail and being in poor health. Since I’m neither frail nor in poor health, it’s been difficult to accept that yep, I’m high-risk.

This has been an ongoing struggle; I minimize and discount the seriousness of various medical diagnoses or I outright deny them. Really, that’s just stupid and I need to stop. 

I get my first dose of vaccine on Sunday, yes Valentine's Day, at 10:40. They will schedule the second dose then. I don't know which flavor I get; fingers crossed any side effects are minimal.