I’m not a passive-aggressive woman; in fact, I err on the side of bluntness. Don’t think I’m bragging about it either, because I’m not. The bluntness along with my marked lack of patience are my two biggest character flaws.
But I know and/or work with a few passive-aggressive people and noticed a trait they all seem to share—they use “humor” after saying something fairly confrontational or nasty or aggressive. Take your pick on the motive because I’ve seen all three in recent conversations. I put the word humor in quotations marks because it’s clear from the context that they aren’t actually kidding, nor are they trying to be funny.
This happens the most in emails or online. These folks can’t come straight out and say what’s on their mind without adding in the fake LOL.
I get that people can be uncomfortable with confrontation and I don’t go looking for it myself. But when I see the fake LOL, I tend to discount whatever was said entirely, sort of a la-la-la can't HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAR you!
I’d far rather someone be slightly rude than use fake humor.
4 comments:
I dearly hope I am not PA as I work with a fair number of them and wish i could stab them all in the chest on an almost daily basis. I can guarantee you that I'll never, ever use "LOL" in any writing, comment, etc. because I hate it. I have a friend who almost solely relies on text messaging acronyms when he comments on FB. If I didn't know him well, I might be more annoyed but I've learned to ignore the laziness of writing those letters. I wish he used them ironically but such is not the case.
If I use LOL (and I do sometimes in game--I play World of Warcraft), it's because I'm actually laughing out loud and have usually startled the kitties. But I sure don't use it to soften the words I've just said.
Maybe because I study irony and get way too analytical, I take those sharp comments with lol after them as even meaner, like twisting the knife rather than softening the blow.
I'm considering the source; I don't think these folks have the wit to do that. No LOL after that comment, I mean it and I stand by it.
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