- Wearing black by your face ages you. I moved away from head-to-toe black years ago (so emo) although I haven’t removed it entirely from my wardrobe. I seldom wear solid black by my face, and just two weeks ago, I retired a solid black turtleneck because of the color and also because of point two.
- Turtlenecks make your face look fat and/or older (apologies, Mom, I forget your exact wording on this one). Yeah I am starting to see exactly where my jaw will be like my mother’s jaw, which in turn she got from my grandfather. None of us have the fat, wiggly jowls you sometimes see, but we do have JAWS and turtlenecks just hit at an unfortunate spot. I still wear them but can see the day approaching when I won’t.
- You’ll need less sleep as you get older (or maybe it’s that you’ll sleep less). I’m waiting on this one. I still need and generally get between eight and nine hours of sleep a night and deeply envy those who do well on less.
- The day after drinking a bit much get tougher as you get older. Amen and isn't that the sad, sad truth? And to add insult to injury, it takes far less alcohol to get the nasty day after effect.
- Your skin will get really dry. While I’m no longer producing enough oil to solve the world's oil shortage as I once did, I’m nowhere near the dry skin category. Not even in winter.
- Your knees will get fat. Well they aren't fat, but they are no longer as lovely as they once were. Plus I think my butt wants to meet the backs of my knees. Damn that gravity anyway.
- Your waist will thicken. I am pretty sure this has started for me. No matter what kind of workout I do, I’m not sure I can get rid of all of it. It’s not really a weight issue, it’s more of a redistribution of what’s there and I find it very annoying.
- More light for reading. Boy do I need it. I needed more light way before I needed reading glasses.
- Spider veins. She never really said anything other than yeah, you've got them. To which I say thanks . . .
Monday, February 21, 2011
Things my mother told me
And I’m coming round to her way of thinking on some of them.
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4 comments:
Not sure. I tuned my mother out long ago.
I can't wear turtlenecks - they strangle me. I don't care how cold it is, I can't wear them. I do own A LOT of black.
And my knees have always been hideous so I rarely wear anything that reveals them. It's best for everyone.
"This house is clean enough to be healthy, and messy enough to be happy."
My mother always said that houseguests and fish stink after three days.
Did I know that FreshHell felt the same way about turtlenecks that I do?
Also, when I had a bad bike crash and needed stitches one time, my mother wailed "now you'll never have pretty knees!" That may have been the most prophetic motherism ever.
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