Warning, book ahead

The last 12 months were really hard. Kent and I lived apart while our KC house was on the market, and weren't sure if it would sell. I didn’t know that the recession had begun, all I knew was that I couldn't find work and worse I couldn't find opportunities I could apply for. I felt like I got the unglamorous end of the relocation stick since I was still in KC, unemployed and responsible for keeping the house in show-ready condition. As I told several of you, the highlight of my day was often deciding whether or not I would vacuum or scoop litter.

I turned to sewing as a way to get out of my own pity party, and in fact made the first dress for Alison pretty much sniffling the whole time. I know that sounds really drama queen-esque but it was a hard time and I had no idea if or when it would end. Sewing for her helped me focus on something other than myself, and it produced something useful to boot.

I mention all that because while the house did sell (hurrah!) and Kent and I are together again (bigger hurrah!), I’m still unemployed. But when I sewed the dress and pinafore for Alison last week, I had a chance to reflect on where I was mentally and emotionally and knew I was OK with things as they are. I won’t lie, I’d rather be working in my field because I do enjoy it. I don't think that is going to happen—I see the same three jobs posted to Monster in my field and none are suitable—plus I would really like to get the master’s degree in counseling.

All in all, I’ve learned a lot this last year. The biggest, most important thing I’ve learned is that Kent is beyond trustworthy. I had remnants of distrust from my first marriage and while I knew I wasn’t going to starve, I did fear potential resentment from Kent or judgment if I bought, say, a lipstick or a shirt. I don’t know why I tried to put that on him, he has shown me over the last nine years what a kind, generous, and loving man he is.

I’ve also learned I am far more than the sum of my job responsibilities. I’ve had a chance to deepen my relationships with my younger son and his wife, and reach out to people long distance to maintain the friendships that are so important to me.

I might not have learned these lessons had I stayed employed and focused on the hustle and bustle of my career. In a weird sort of way, I find myself grateful.