Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Did you just say that?

I ran across this video the other day, and was curious if I’d heard many or any of the 48 comments. Much to my—well surprise isn’t the right word, maybe sad resignation is better—I had heard nearly all of them.

I have a story of my own to tell.

In 2011, Kent and I took a short vacation in Negril. This was our second time there and we’d had a relaxing time. We were waiting to catch the commuter flight from Negril to Montego Bay and one of the men who worked at the local airport was making small talk with us.

Somehow it came up in the conversation that we have grandchildren. He was shocked and commented that I didn’t look like a grandmother. I told him that I was and that I’d passed the half century mark and lived every year.

He looked me up and down, and then said “You must have been a goddess when you were young.”

Stop for a moment and consider those words. Never mind the looking up and down (which happens to women all the time and we are expected to either not notice or not mind). Think about the implications of what he said to me.

What I thought (but didn’t say and have regretted ever since that I didn't) is that I’m as much of a goddess now as I was 30 years ago, that being a goddess has nothing to do with age and in fact not much to do with looks.

I know this sort of thing happens all the time. I hear it about my marriage to Kent (he is younger). I'll be clear with you that the cougar comment offends me. I'm not a cougar, I am a woman who happens to be deeply in love with a younger man. No one would think twice about the reverse situation.

I suspect that I'm going to end up being that one woman, the one who got more outspoken as she grew older and realized that some things ought not be said, and some attitudes need to be changed. I'm OK with that. 


Jeanne said...

You were cute when you were young; you look more like a goddess now. ;-)

Harriet said...

I've been reading about the todo over Carrie Fisher in the new movie. She is awesome. But I'm disturbed by the way people seem to be blaming her for looking older in the new movie than she did in the first one which was made NEARLY 40 YEARS AGO. WTF.

Elizabeth said...

Yeah I have been reading that too--people are crazy.

The older I get the more I see how narrow the definition of beauty or goddess-like looks tends to be.

D Russell said...

I was close to 60 when I had a 20-something airhead, that lived a couple of doors down when I was in Las Vegas, ask how I handled it when I started losing my looks. I replied that you had better hope there was something more to you, other than looks, by the time you got to 60. She didn't get it, obviously.

Elizabeth said...

Wow, just wow.